“Stay!”
Cassie gazed up at me with her one blue and one brown eye. She stared back down at the piece of cheese.
“Stay!”
Cassie looked back up at me and wagged her tail. She had played this game once before and knew she could out-wait me. She also knows that the cuter and sadder she looks, the sooner that I’ll give in and give her the ‘go ahead’. Cassie is perhaps the smartest dog I’ve ever seen. In fact, I think the only thing that holds her back is the lack of opposable thumbs (and her leash).
I’d like to think I taught Cassie the ‘sit and stay’ trick, but she actually figured it out from watching a Charlie Brown cartoon. You know- the episode where Charlie runs to kick the football and at the last second Lucy pulls it away. Cassie knows if she goes for the cheese too soon that I’ll pull it away before she gets to it. So she sits and waits for me to give the ‘go ahead’ at which point she gets her reward.
Cassie has mastered the art of ‘willpower’. The key is to focus on the reward.
Willpower…easy to say and yet, so hard to do. It certainly would help solve many of life’s problems if we only had more of it:
- Obesity- willpower to eat less and exercise more
- Addictions- willpower to refrain
- Unwanted pregnancies- willpower to abstain
- Accumulation of wealth-willpower to save
- Broken relationships- willpower to overcome hard times
- Name your long-term goal-willpower to delay instant gratification while you work towards the goal
Life’s temptations and the rewards of instant gratification can be hard to ignore, especially in this day and age. You have to ask yourself if the long term objective is worth it, and the answer is usually yes.
St. Augustine was one of the world’s greatest theologians, influencing all of Christianity. But before he became a Catholic priest and bishop, he had lived a colorful life. After his conversion, he struggled with the idea of celibacy. In fact, he famously said:
Lord, grant me chastity, but not yet. (Paraphrased, I believe from his book Confessions…if only I had the willpower to check and be certain)
Resisting temptation is difficult but we can strengthen our resolve. Some ideas:
- Focus on your long term goal. Make sure you really want it.
- Develop a strong support group of family and friends. This provides you both positive encouragement as well as someone to turn to when times are tough.
- Try and be well rested. Our resistance is down when we are tired.
- Exercise regularly. Our mind is better when the body is strong.
- Keep the temptation away from you. Out of sight, out of mind.
- Pray for strength when you are tempted. Also, prayer, meditation, and deep breathing exercises help to calm your mind, self-regulate, and make better choices.
- Make willpower a habit by resisting other, smaller temptations.
- Remember your faith, strengthen your faith, and try and tie your long term goal to that faith. Tying your goal to serving God will strengthen your resolve. For example, you could choose to have a goal of a healthy lifestyle (i.e. exercise and weight loss) in order to use your body to serve the Lord. Or, you could choose to save money so that you could have resources to support God’s work.
- Make a plan in advance to deal with temptation when it arises. For instance, my son has a to-go box come at the start of a meal and puts half the food into the to-go box and ties it off prior to ever eating. That way he cuts potential calories in half and avoids overeating.
Once again, focus on your long term goal and keep that first and foremost, particularly at times of temptation. You will be better for it.
And now, I think I’ve earned my cheese too. Take care till next time.
eople are made to have relationships. The amazing thing is how good relationships can have a positive benefit on our physical health. Let’s look at some of the data1:
