Life is inherently stressful. But is there anything we can do to reduce stress? We cannot completely eliminate stress, but we can reduce it as well as improve our ability to handle whatever stress that we do have.
Careful planning can reduce potential stressful experiences. Consider the example in the last blog of being chased by a bear. This stress could be avoided by:
* Don’t go where bears hang out. Listen to your mom.
* If you are silly enough to go where the bears are, then lock up all your food so as not to attract them. Either that, or cook with lots of habaneros.
* If you hear bears, make lots of noise by rapping on pots and pans to scare them away. Actually, bears aren’t scared of anything, they just don’t like rap music.
Further planning can help you handle the stress when it occurs. For instance, check out what Ranger Bob says about bear encounters:
* Stand tall, strong, look brave and pray that the bear goes away.
* Don’t bother to run unless your name is Usain Bolt, or you have a slower friend with you.
* If the bear attacks, lie down on your stomach and play dead. But remember to put on a backpack first so that the bear has to chew its way through to you. Keep your smartphone in the backpack in hopes that the bear gets into a game of Pokemon Go.
* Forget Ranger Bob, pull out a big gun and shoot the bear.
Now this type of planning is clearly helpful if you live like Grizzly Adams, but the same concept can be applied to a more conventional lifestyle.
In general, you will tend to have a less stressful life by doing the following:
> Listening to your mom.
> Apply yourself in school.
> Seek a rewarding career.
> Strive to be financially comfortable, but avoid the trap of ‘keeping up with the Joneses’.
> Go to church, pray often, and put your faith in God.
> Be smart in your choice of spouse, as well as your friends.
>Exercise regularly, at least 30 minutes a day, most days of the week.
>Get married before you have kids. Work at staying married.
> Drive defensively.
> Don’t abuse alcohol or street drugs.
> Do the right thing.
Sometimes life stressors hit you despite your most careful planning. Sometimes you make mistakes and venture into bear country. As with the bear analogy, you should not beat yourself up, but rather look for a ‘Ranger Bob’ and develop a back-up plan. Have that back-up plan in mind before things go wrong.
Examples of a back-up plan can include insurance policies or a back-up career plan. However, some stressors are very unpredictable and harder to plan for. Examples might be a major illness or sudden trauma. A back-up plan can be developed for these medical episodes and it’s called a strong support system.
The support system is a combination of family, friends, community, and church family. You develop this support system by being a good, supportive member of that support system, not with the expectation of getting anything out of it, but because it’s the right thing to do…
It was a beautiful September evening, and I had gone out to start the grill for a wonderful dinner that Caryl (my wife) had planned for my sister, Nancy, who was visiting. A mishap with an overfilled propane tank quickly changed the dinner plans. The resulting propane fire set me on fire and torched the hair and skin off my face, arms, hands, and knees. It actually set my head on fire, and in the process of rolling on the ground to put out the fire, I managed to knock a disc out in my neck, which caused subsequent nerve damage. I eventually had to spend some time in the burn ward to take the dead skin off. I also had to have neck surgery with a bone graft, plate and screws to repair the damaged nerve.
Needless to say, this was perhaps the most stressful event in my life (probably even worse than that time I took the kids grocery shopping). Immediately after putting the fire out on my head, I knew I needed to develop a back-up plan. The planned great dinner was ruined, and I knew what my back-up plan needed to be: I went into the house with my face all charred and reported to Caryl that dinner was going to be a little late. She immediately thought I must be delirious, called the ambulance and the rest was history.
The pain was tremendous, but the stress was greatly reduced by my support system. Caryl and Nancy took care of needed dressing changes. Great friends and community support helped by preparing food and doing some chores. I can only be forever grateful.
Next time we’ll look at more ways to reduce stress when it happens.
“CRUNCH!” What was that? I turned to look forward and saw the emergency phone pole. It suddenly became painfully obvious that I had been wrong. I had thought the pole was put there for someone to use the phone in case of emergency. But no, it looks like the pole was actually put there to create an emergency. I got out of the car to survey the damage…and yes, I had just totaled my car going 10mph through an otherwise empty parking lot.